Nor rain, nor work, nor pandemic can stop a sexy text! In a long distant relationship? Do you want to try something new, but not sure how to tell your partner? Looking for a new way to spice up your relationship? Try sexting!


Seriously, it’s a thrilling and great way to have fun with your partner and start your foreplay before you day has ended!


Tried and failed? Never give up! You can only get better and here’s how to sext like a pro.




What Is Sexting?


rules to sexting - all you need to know


Sexting is talking naughty with your partner through a text! It’s creating an erotic story with your partner, it’s telling them how you want them, where you want them and how it makes you feel just thinking about it. 


Why Should You Sext?


rules to sexting - all you need to know


It is an excellent way to communicate to your partner what you want to try or what you want to do or even what you enjoy more of in bed! It’s also a great way to bring back the spice into your relationship and break the mundane conversation you have with your partner into something fun and new.


Talking about sex with your partner can be hard at times, you can use sexting as a way to tell them what you want. 


Sexting is a great form of foreplay, the all day arousal just leaves you aching for the day to end so you can jump on your partner. 


Create and discuss new fantasies with your partner, over things you may want to try or just enjoy fantasizing about with your partner. It’s okay to fantasize with your partner and not do it, we do it when we watch movies, you can do it in your sex life.


What About Nudes?


rules to sexting - all you need to know


Nudes or sexy photos aren’t necessary to make a sexting dream come true. You can describe what you’re wearing, you don’t have to show if you don’t want to.  You can say ‘The lacy dress I’m wearing would look so much better on the floor.‘ or ‘My hard cock is dying is break free from these pants.’


This also allows you to create whatever you want however you want.. you don’t have to say exactly what you’re wearing, you can wear whatever you like when it’s via text.


Instead of sending a nude, you can say ‘my hard nipples are aching for your mouth to be wrapped around them.‘ You can describe the nudity, the desire, photos aren’t needed to create an image in the mind.


Sexting is all about creating an erotic story with your partner, where you’re both the main characters.


What Makes Sexting Ideal?


rules to sexting - all you need to know


Of course wanting your partner matters, but telling them and showing them are two different things. While I’m sure you would prefer showing, telling them is a fun way to build up to the showing them.


Sexting can also be necessary sometimes,  it can help keep the fire going or bring back the fire into your sex life. It’s also great for long distance relationships or if your partner happens to travel a lot.


And honestly, if I want to try something with a partner, I like to use sexting. It’s a great way to see how open they are to trying something new… like public sex, dressing up or anal.


Sexting can open up the conversation making it easier to discuss the topic when it comes to new sex things. And sometimes sexting is enough to fulfill that fantasy of having sex in their office, just the thought of it being a possibility and how it can happen is exciting. 


3 Rules To Sexting


rules to sexting - all you need to know


  1. Have confidence! This is crucial, you aren’t face to face with them, so it should be easier for you to write how you want to take your partner. 
  3. Don’t break the scene, unless necessary. People are busy, they can’t always respond right away. It’s better to wait for a response than break the scene wondering where they are or what they’re doing. If you are eager for a response, send a follow up text keeping it with the scene. IE. I’m so hard/wet for you. 
  5. Be detailed! Details matter, you want to say things like ‘slipping my one hand on your shaft and one on your balls, squeezing lightly as I swallow your head.’ And other things ‘Kneeling in front of you, lightly biting my way up your thighs as you fall to the couch, spreading your legs, open eager and ready for my tongue.’


Creating The Scene


rules to sexting - all you need to know


Step 1 – Making The Scene


Decide the scene you want to create with your partner and let it build. Start with something simple, here’s an example ‘I’m so turned on… I want to slip into your office, shut your door and get naughty with you.’


You can also be more direct, “I need you so bad, the things I would do if I was there… Just slip these black lace panties off and walk over behind your desk.”


Step 2 – Responding


Wait for a response, your partner may take a moment to respond. If they don’t respond within the amount of time you want, continue creating the scene, send another text. You’ve most likely taken your partner by surprise, it’s okay, you’re opening up a new faucet of your sex life.


Don’t let the delayed response make you afraid of continuing on. Sometimes people are busy, don’t know how to respond or are seeing if you’ll send more. It’s okay if your partner doesn’t respond right away. 


Step 3 – The Communication


You’re partner has responded, their either wondering what you’re doing or their going with it here’s what to do for both situations:


Step 3A – Your Partner Is Wondering What’s Going On.


Your partner is wondering what you’re doing and has asked. It’s okay, tell them you’re turned on and want to have a little fun and sext with them. Tell them you just want to enjoy it and have some fun. 


If your partner says they’re busy and can’t right at that moment, it’s okay. You can try again later, spontaneous sexting doesn’t always work out.. especially in work meetings.


Step 3B – Your Partner Responded, Matching Your Mood


They’ve responded back to you with something kinky! Woohoo! Success! Maybe they’ve thrown something completely random at you, maybe they’ve taken the scene to a completely different place or idea. Go with it! Don’t worry about taking control of the scene but enjoy the scene. 


Step 4 – What To Describe?


Now you’re getting into the thick of it, but what do you describe?




Describe the location if its called for, if you change places then say so, it’s your world so it can be wherever! An office, an apartment, a bar, in the chair, in the tub, on couch, in a sex dungeon on the St Andrews Cross! 


Is it necessary? Honestly, no. You don’t need an in-depth description of where you are, you can use something as simple as a bed or just skip over it entirely and focus on where hands and mouths are. ‘Your hands spreading my thighs, I feel the heat of your breath on my clit.


In a case where it would be handy to have the description of a location, would be a fantasy more focused on kink. Such as ‘I test the strength of the rope around my wrists, watching you walk along the bed and devour me with your eyes’.


Another good way to use the description of the room, is something like ‘I want you bare assed on my desk, legs spread, ready for me.’ In instances where you want to focus on a specific fantasy that would involve certain things such as a secretary type fantasy, that is when it’s great to use surrounding descriptions.


When you changes places such as moving to the desk to the chair, you want to make that clear. So if we go from the ‘I want you bare assed on my desk, legs spread, ready for me.’ A response can be, ‘Putting my heel on your chest, I push you back into the chair. Leaning forward I run my hands up your shirt then rip it off, buttons flying around us as I reveal your chest to me.


Body Movement.


Body Movements! You want to know where your partners hands, lips and bits are, so don’t be afraid to describe where yours are v at.. if its wrapping your legs around their waist as they penetrate you deeply, do it! If your hands are in their hair pulling their neck back, kissing and sucking along their neck.


You can trail your nail down their chest, describe what your body is doing to their body. You can clench your thighs around head as they eat you out. Don’t be afraid to get creative.


Vocal Description.


Talk about it! Did they make you moan when they slipped their hand between your legs? Did you scream out in orgasm? The little details, the dirty talk is fun!


If you’re in the middle of having sex in your sexting, say things like ‘I love feeling your cock in me’ or ‘fuck me deep’ or ‘You feel soo good’. Are all these little tidbits not actually happening? Of course not, but it’s the fantasy, indulge in it.


Step 5 – Getting Past Your Brain Freeze


You don’t know what to say, you’re having a brain fart. You’re in the middle of it and really digging it and don’t want to lose momentum but you need a moment! Here are some filler phrases you can use and you can always come up with you’re own of course!



And if you can’t think of more appropriate fillers, then say things like ‘How does it feel?’ or ‘do you like that?’ and that can give you an idea if you should keep flogging them or fucking them hard.



Now I know all of these phrases sound simple however, they keep the mood going and give you a moment to figure out what you want to say next. You could even be waiting for your partner to tell you more so you can go off that and that’s okay!


Sexting Example


rules to sexting - all you need to know




Person 1: I was just thinking about you… I’m so turned on, I’m wearing my blue pencil skirt and button up white blouse and all I can think about is your hands sliding up my thighs under my skirt.


Person 2: Oh really? (see this isn’t always a great response however it’s an opportunity and you can take it!)


Person 1: Oh yes, your fingers slipping inside me, as you get on your knees in front of me yanking up my skirt, and wrapping your arms around my thighs as you press your face into my wet pussy.


Person 2: Fucking you with tongue til you cum, my cock ready for you. Standing up unzipping my pants, letting my cock fall into your hands, you slip onto your knees, wrapping those lips around my cock.


Person 1: Moaning as your cock hits the back of my throat, my nipples hard, aching to be touched… lifting me up, you put me on the desk ripping off my shirt before you spread my legs and thrust deep inside me.


End scene.


See something like the above is an example of how you want to be, granted its a little more detailed than you have to be but it’s an example. Letting them know that you want them and how. Let it be your own story of what you want, create your fantasy.


Person 2, could have responded differently, helping create the fantasy, however I wanted just a short example and how to defeat what seems like a lackadaisical response.


These are all the steps to learning to sext.


Don’t feel guilty for being turned on by your partner, and don’t feel guilty for touching yourself or not touching yourself while sexting…


You’re creating a sex story with your partner, enjoy it, hear what their saying they enjoy from you and relish in it.


You’re both taking pleasure from one another, though its not physical touching, it can still turn you on. And over everything… have fun!


Always Uncensor Your Pleasure


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